{"id":1672,"date":"2018-11-29T23:57:21","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T23:57:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dynamicteamsolutions.org\/?p=1672"},"modified":"2018-11-29T23:57:21","modified_gmt":"2018-11-29T23:57:21","slug":"lessons-on-corporate-conflict-management-from-my-6-year-old","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/2018\/11\/29\/lessons-on-corporate-conflict-management-from-my-6-year-old\/","title":{"rendered":"Lessons on Corporate Conflict Managementfrom My 6-year-old"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"As I was driving my daughter home from school one day, we discussed her most-recent, holiday-inspired work of art.\u202fI suggest that we temporarily place it where we had hung her \u201cBlue Dog\u201d painting.\u202fShe agrees\u2014and then, a few moments later, asks, \u201cDon\u2019t you like my Blue Dog?\u201d\u202f<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Surprised, as I absolutely love her artwork and frequently tell her so, I say, \u201cOf course I do.\u201d<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Then, I go on to explain the limited space we have for hang-able art.\u202f\u201cBut,\u201d she says, \u201cI heard you say you didn\u2019t like Blue Dog.\u201d\u202fAnd she was right.\u202fI had said exactly that a couple weeks prior.\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"What she didn\u2019t know, however, was that I wasn\u2019t referring to her artwork, but a restaurant I didn\u2019t particularly enjoy.\u202fThat conversation had happened two weeks earlier\u2014right in front of her\u2014and I never realized that she might think I was talking about her picture instead of a diner.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

For two weeks, my daughter sat with that criticism, while her Blue Dog hung prominently in our home.\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Why does this matter to you?\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

This misunderstanding hits at the core of how conflicts often simmer and develop.\u202fMy young daughter heard me right but understood me wrong.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

How could she have known or even anticipated that?\u202fHow did this impact her for the two weeks she sat on it?\u202fHow often were her emotional outbursts and challenging behavior (which were worse during that timeframe) directly related to her being unintentionally hurt by me?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In both our workplace and our personal lives, we are capable of experiencing these misunderstandings, both on the giving and receiving side.\u202fWe feel certain, convinced even, that the hurt inflicted on us by others was intentional. How could anything else be the case?\u202fYet, the Blue Dog teaches us there\u2019s often another narrative.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Here are the lessons I hope to offer you:<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Be Brave<\/span><\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When you feel hurt, talk about it with the person that hurt you.\u202fDon\u2019t wait, don\u2019t sit on it, and don\u2019t let the pain stew and fester. If a 6-year-old can bring it up, so can you.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Give the Benefit of the Doubt<\/span><\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

It may look, sound, or feel like someone is being unkind, unfair, or intentionally hurtful.\u202fBut, before you make that snap determination, talk to him or her.\u202fThere may be more going on than meets the eye. Intentionally believe that others do have your best interests at heart, and approach the miscommunication from that point of view.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Ask Questions<\/span><\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t look to prove your case or find evidence supporting your belief.\u202fInstead, ask questions to find out more information.\u202fIt\u2019s okay to be persistent if you are confused by the initial answers.\u202fHad my daughter simply stopped asking questions when I said of course I liked her Blue Dog, she may have thought I was lying or trying to deceive her.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Be Open to the Conversation<\/span><\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When you are being asked questions about your intent, or more to the point, being told you\u2019ve hurt someone, listen to them.\u202fTry to understand where your actions have created pain or harm for someone, and offer clarity, perspective, or even an apology when appropriate.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Forgive<\/span><\/b><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Hurt, caused with or without malice, can bring out the worst in us.\u202fMy daughter had to make peace with the knowledge that I had not intended to hurt her so she could release her pain.\u202fI had to let go of my irritation with the anger she had been displaying.\u202fWe both needed to forgive each other.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I was reminded of all this and more from my daughter.\u202fI thanked her for her courage.\u202fI encouraged her to continue to confront the things that hurt her.\u202fI forgave her for the behavior that had come out of that experience.\u202f<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I encourage you to do the same.\u202f<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I was driving my daughter home from school one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1672"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1672"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1672\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1704"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}