{"id":2423,"date":"2020-10-02T00:48:47","date_gmt":"2020-10-02T00:48:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dynamicteamsolutions.org\/?p=2423"},"modified":"2020-10-02T00:48:47","modified_gmt":"2020-10-02T00:48:47","slug":"the-real-debate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/2020\/10\/02\/the-real-debate\/","title":{"rendered":"The Real Debate"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"Having just watched the first Presidential debate, I am reminded of how important debate and discussion is in our world…and how lost we are, as a society, in doing this well.\u00a0 I have not seen any comment \u2013 by friends or the media \u2013 that claims the presidential debate was helpful or informative.\u00a0 The American people would have been better served by Trump and Biden telling us what they value, what they believe, and what they will do.\u00a0 Instead we were given argument, interruption, and saddest of all, lies and name-calling.<\/p>\n

I know this is not new, but it is becoming more pronounced.\u00a0 The spill-over is increasing our nation\u2019s polarization.\u00a0\u00a0 One of the key obstacles we face which is adding to this \u2013 is caused by our social isolation.\u00a0 Our need to distance ourselves physically has translated into distancing ourselves from information that we don\u2019t like and don\u2019t want to hear.<\/p>\n

In the past, we would overhear or be engaged to discuss in ideas with others.\u00a0 We would be exposed to conversations among colleagues at work, friends in social settings, or the people waiting in line beside us.\u00a0 We would hear ideas we didn\u2019t agree with, learn perspectives we hadn\u2019t considered, gain knowledge we did not possess.\u00a0 Today, we don\u2019t have those same opportunities.\u00a0 Today our information is limited to what we seek \u2013 and all too often that is based on our own previously identified beliefs and interests.\u00a0 As such, we are more likely to be getting information that re-affirms but does not challenge our thoughts and ideas.\u00a0 Watch this trailer from the Netflix original:\u00a0 The Social Dilemma<\/a> to understand how the information you receive (be it truth or conspiracy theories) is tailored to your current beliefs.<\/p>\n

Our insular thinking is a product of the internet and compounded by the Covid pandemic.\u00a0 We are failing to hear alternate perspectives.\u00a0 We are experiencing added tension and increasing levels of animosity.\u00a0 And what are we are left with? Fear, frustration, and anger.<\/p>\n

What we need is a new dynamic.<\/p>\n

Changing our current and painful trajectory toward polarization, will require effort.\u00a0 Just as we want to hear the ideas and opinions of our leaders during the presidential debate, we must work with intention to hear the ideas and opinions of those around us.\u00a0 We cannot rely solely on the news when media outlets choose what to report and stories are often laden with bias.\u00a0 We cannot rely on an internet search when a computer algorithm determines the information we will see \u2013 and does not care if we receive fact or fiction.\u00a0 To build our understanding, we must work harder, and we must rely on one another.\u00a0 We need to expand our awareness while also expanding that of those around us.\u00a0 It\u2019s a two-way street, but some things are universally important in debate and discussion.<\/p>\n

Truth. Listening. Sharing opinions. Expressing ideas.<\/p>\n

Yes, engaging in debate and discussion \u2013 bridging this communication (and knowledge) gap – means exposing ourselves to uncomfortable conversations.\u00a0 But uncomfortable does not mean hostile.\u00a0 It means asking questions, breathing through information we don\u2019t agree with \u2013 and not shutting down the discussion prematurely.\u00a0 It means engaging from a place of curiosity.\u00a0 And the payoff is huge.\u00a0 It allows us to build understanding, share knowledge, and create awareness.<\/p>\n

The challenge is often this:\u00a0 How do I broach these difficult conversations?\u00a0 How do I engage in a discussion that may create tension with those I love or respect?\u00a0 In a time when we all want so badly to connect, why should we disrupt the status quo?<\/p>\n

Let me respond to the \u201cWhy\u201d.\u00a0 Consider the most meaningful relationships in your life.\u00a0 Are they meaningful because you walk on eggshells and preserve the peace?\u00a0 Are they enriched and deeper when you withhold your thoughts?\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 The point is not that we seek conflict, but rather that we seek to understand each other.\u00a0 This deepens the relationship.\u00a0 It creates trust.\u00a0 We feel safest when we can share and expose our thoughts and beliefs openly.\u00a0 Sure, we prefer others to see things the same way we do, but differences are ok too when we know what underlies them.\u00a0 When we understand what guides the different ideas or preferences.<\/p>\n

How do we broach these difficult moments?<\/p>\n

Start with intention and goals.\u00a0 Discussion and debate presume a sharing of differing opinions.\u00a0 For many, this creates the concern.\u00a0 The intention therefore must be to exchange ideas, not to persuade a conclusion.\u00a0 The key steps:<\/p>\n

Create opportunities for discussion.\u00a0 Start by engaging with someone who has an alternate point of view.\u00a0 Ask them if they are open to sharing and learning together.<\/p>\n

Agree to ground rules.\u00a0 I recommend those include a rule to take turns and avoid interrupting and to listen with for the purpose of understanding.\u00a0 Ideally, you both agree to remove the goal of persuading the other to your vision.\u00a0 Instead, agree to work to understand the other person\u2019s thoughts, rationale, and perspective.<\/p>\n

Ask questions.\u00a0 When things seem divergent or insurmountable, ask more questions.\u00a0 Look to find out the rationale to a person\u2019s belief, the values they hold dear, the intention behind their actions.\u00a0 Be curious.\u00a0 Ask.\u00a0 Learn.<\/p>\n

Wrap up by each summarizing what you heard and understood.\u00a0 Allow the other person an opportunity to clarify areas of misunderstanding.<\/p>\n

Close with gratitude.\u00a0 Appreciate the willingness to engage in discussion and to share a piece of yourselves.\u00a0 Remember the goal is building better understanding \u2013 ask yourself if you\u2019ve achieved that \u2013 even in small measure and be genuine in your acknowledgement.<\/p>\n

If the concern about things getting heated still causes resistance, create a safe-word or allow a time-out if things become too intense.\u00a0 However, do not allow the difficult moment to become a lasting one.\u00a0 Agree to end any discussion by reaffirming points of agreement, shared values, and the intentions of the discussion.\u00a0 Always close with gratitude.<\/p>\n

Sharing opinions, ideals, preferences, and values help us to learn about one another.\u00a0 We form deeper bonds and stronger relationships.\u00a0 We communicate beyond the surface.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having just watched the first Presidential debate, I am reminded […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2424,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.dynamicteamsolutions.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}